I haven’t been in a bubbly mood the whole weekend last week, I apologize for that darling.. I think I’m having my PMS 
Saturday we were at Pavilion KL with our friends, I really didn’t have the mood to shop, even though I so wanted to buy some things. We went into Coach, and me and the other girls were discussing which bags are nice and worth getting and all. You were just being uninterested as you would with all my other shopping. I didn’t mind you being uninterested, as I know you look like that a lot.. 
I was just happy to have you around the whole time, seriously I am, you have no idea. 
You then went to the toilet for a LONG time while we were at Forever 21, where I was sitting alone (it was weird how you just ditched me sitting there alone while you “went to toilet”). After you came back, you asked me a lot about bags, which was funny because we weren’t even looking at bags anymore, and the sudden interest on bags was a lil.. weird.. Anyway, you later told me you were gonna get me the bag I saw at Coach, but that you couldn’t find Coach and you were kinda glad that you didn’t get that bag because of Coach’s “ranking” amongst other bag brands. Honestly? I was touched. I totally did not expect you to do these things but you (although failed to) actually thought of buying me that bag. One question, was it because my mood was not at a good level so you were thinking of cheering me up with a bag? Darling, I really appreciate that thought. I really do..
I do not know if I should kick myself in the butt or to take pride to know that I would not allow you to spend your hard-earned money like that. :P No, honestly.. You know how I’ve wanted to buy a bag (and another trillion things) but never actually saw one that I would really buy (or had the budget to). You not seeing the Coach store from Forever 21, oh well.. I guess it’s fate.. Even with my poor eyesight I could see Coach from just outside the F21 store, and you with better eyesight than I do, didn’t. =_=” And to think you went down 2 floors (when Coach was on like.. all 4 floors of the mall or somethin) and still couldn’t see the store. I.AM.SPEECHLESS.
Fate, yeah? It’s just fate that I would not be owning that bag. Well, look at it this way. We were just talking about our trips next year, what to plan for, dates and everything. I wanted to go to Melbourne and Hong Kong both in 2009, and you were a bit freaked to think we would have 2 long holidays in a year. Well, why not?? I still gotta save up, and I know how hard it is for you to be taking leave (since you’re such a workaholic – sometimes) and for you to think of forking out that money.. Oh well.. The money you wanted to use to buy me that bag? Spend it on the trip(s)! 
I just had a thought.. You already had a sum of money saved up for your trip to Australia with your ex (you were thinking of paying for her) for this year, so why so shocked about spending the money next year instead of this? I mean, you already have the money, right? And you didn’t go anywhere this year. Plus we desperately need a trip together. *sigh* I think I’m starting to think negatively. I am not asking you to pay for my trip, and you would not have to (in case it crossed your mind). So why do you actually sound so shocked to hear about a second trip overseas in a year? Like I told you on the phone, I totally understand that buying a place of your own is your priority right now, and I would not want to jeopardize that. But your reaction puzzled me a little bit. Now I’m rather confused.
Kay, that concludes the first reason that it’s fate that you did not get me that bag. On to the second.
I want a bigger bag. The one that you wanted to get me was just a lil handbag, which would fit just my basic items – wallet, phone, keys, maybe tissue and lip balm. I want a bag that would also fit my new DSLR! (although I haven’t bought it) It’s got to be big enough to fit my new camera, and still be durable yet light enough for me to carry anywhere I go.
Okay, I can’t really really summon up my bubbly self now because the thoughts from the first reason is still plaguing my mind.
We had good fun today, and also yesterday night. Yesterday night was really just a teaser for the both of us, to get us hot and heavy for today. Yesterday night was also pretty scary, the topics that we touched on.. It really makes me afraid. I don’t want to lose you.. Yesterday you made it sound like it’s bound to happen some day.. I still feel heavy thinking about it now. It really scares me. Really.
Sorry about my mood, I just felt so foul this couple of days that I could not even try to be normal. Thank you for being so patient with me these days, I do try not to flare out at you or anyone else for no reason. I hope I’m still doing okay. Please forgive me for being silly, for being immature and hard-to-please. Please have patience.
I love you darling.. I don’t want to think about losing you.
Current Count 46:46
-Girl (who thinks too much – all the time)
cheesee
chizziechick