Darling,
Knowing my history of explosive (and hence creamy) bowel reaction, i hereby would like to list down some pointers on what you should and should NOT do in the event of the next unexpected explosive moment
TOP 5 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO :
1) Most importantly, for your survival’s sake – HOLD your breath
2) Get me a some tissue paper
3) Spare me some loose change in case i need to go for a pay toilet
4) Drive slower over bumps – random movement in ANY direction is B.A.D.
5) Make urself feeling as if u wanna sh*t in ur pants, nothing like sharing the pain and agony of your loved ones 
TOP 5 THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO :
1) Laugh hysterically as if it is the funniest thing u’ve ever seen
2) Offer to turn on the music to soothe the agony (dont think it’s audible thru my intestine wall)
3) Offer me mints… * why mints??? *
4) Take picture(s)
5) THE MOST IMPORTANT THING U SHOULDN’T DO -> tell our friends bout it
That’s all i can think of for now, will update the list if i’ve got more pointers for u =P
Current Count 26 : 26
-Boy
cheesee
chizziechick